Sports Sedans racing is pretty glamorous, right? Limited rules, big V8s, and awesome race cars.

Well… sometimes, I guess, maybe…

For this tale, we turn the clock all the way back to September 2000, half a lifetime ago for the author, who was on university holidays, and all jacked up regarding that weekend’s Queensland 500.

However, on Monday, I swung by Phil Crompton’s offices to pick up some t-shirts, a part payment for some website work I had done for the National Sports Sedan Association. My rate card at the time was seemingly somewhat lower than it currently reads.

Phil was, and still is, a long-time competitor in the class, at the time running a wild EB Falcon towards the pointy end of the field.

In passing, he asked if I would like to tag along to Oran Park for the upcoming weekend… two seconds later I responded with a very hard yes, and I went home to pack my bags.

Wednesday

WHAT. IS. THAT. STINK?

We rolled up to the workshop in the evening to a hell of smell.

As it transpires, the last time the truck was used was several weeks earlier at the Lakeside V8 Lites event.

Now, being at the race track requires a whole lot of coffee, and most folk like a bit of milk in their coffee.

Naturally, you store your milk in the fridge, but here’s the tricky part – taking the milk out of the refrigerator when you disconnect the power.

The lesson to take away from this is that unattended milk bottles explode, leaving the inside of the truck covered in a white film that smelled like death.

Also, this was to be our sleeping quarters for the week…

Regardless, we pushed the car onboard (and over my foot, rookie error), headed to McDonald’s for dinner, and BP Beenleigh for a refuel.

In a sign of the times, there was value in topping up in Queensland, with diesel in New South Wales devastatingly priced at over a dollar a litre.

I was in the front row passenger for most of the night, with Phil and his actual crew for the weekend Daryl swapping between driving and resting up in the sleeper. I think it was about 2:00am when I realised that the passenger seat would recline…

Home, sweet home.

Thursday

At about 8:00am we arrived somewhere north of Sydney, after a long and bumpy night through fog, rain and bushfires.

After breakfast, we decided to find a tyre place that would rotate and balance the tyres in the hope of making the ride a little smoother, which was ultimately successful.

One indelible memory driving through Sydney was actual billboards promoting that weekend’s Truck Racing event… it would be well out of the usual to see that level of promotion these days!

The next stop was the OZ Wheels factory, which was southwest of Sydney, out near Oran Park.

The directions we were given took us to an intersection that was surrounded by two cow paddocks, a church and an old barn.

When we were about to knock on the church door, it became apparent that the barn was the destination of choice, which, as it transpires, was a simple affair, with a few lathes and a lot of metal shavings.

By the time we had the tyres fitted to the new 18×12 inch rims, it was nearing 2:00pm. The next stop was the shops at Narellan to buy our supplies for the weekend.

In the freezing cold and drizzle, we finally arrived at our destination.

The shower was as cold as this image makes out, but they did improve over the weekend…

We were initially allocated a small shed, which was a dud, so we wound up placing the truck between the Ricciardello and Jameson prime movers.

After unpacking and chatting with some of the people who also arrived early (all of whom commented on the stench emanating from our truck…), it was time for a track walk.

The most confronting thing was the condition of some of the walls and run-off area; at one spot, the wall was nearly on a 45-degree angle to the ground, badly losing the fight against gravity… and this is when the venue had a decade of life left in it.

Then it was time for a shower- it was almost as if they had routed the water running via a freezer, which was a shock to the system for a Queenslander…

By the time I hiked back to the truck, the drizzle from the day had turned into an epic thunderstorm, and it was properly cold! And this is coming from the city due to hold the Summer Olympics in the upcoming weeks…

You know… things could always be worse…

Friday

Up and at ’em at 7am, with breakfast followed by a quick polish of the car before it hit the track for practice.

After a few quick laps, Phil slowed before going into the pits and then coasted back down the hill to the truck.

For the second meeting in a row, the car had broken a rocker. The big 6-litre NASCAR SVO block in combination with Robert Yates Racing aluminium heads pumped out 648HP and 525ft.lb of torque, the sort of figures that put a whole heap of stress on the drivetrain components.

After pulling the car apart to removing the offending part, and a few quick calls, it was decided to head into the Jameson’s workshop to fabricate a new component.

Phil quickly arranged to borrow “an old clunker” for the trip into Campbelltown. The “old clunker” in question was Ron O’Brien’s Nissan GTR Godzila! What a beast! Our one lap record for the weekend was to be that commute…

The Jameson’s workshop was most impressive, actually, the new Jaguar Sport Sedan they were building at the time was most impressive. The sleek body shell was mint, and the cage incredible; it was a one-person job to move it around the workshop. It was then a quick blast up the road to find a bolt shop, acquire a bolt, and back to the workshop to machine it.

Then it was back to the track to get it into the engine. However, it was too late in the afternoon to make it back onto the track by this stage, so the rest of the afternoon was spent cleaning the car and preparing it for Saturday.

At this time, I put considerable effort in gluing up some heat shielding on the components nearest the driver; you know, mid-mounted Sports Sedans can get pretty hot!

The next drama to arise involved the new wheels; firstly, the washers didn’t fit in the holes, and neither did the wheel nuts. A quick call secured us a rental car, a Corolla, and Phil and Daryl headed back to the wheel factory to get them fixed.

They arrived back at the track at 9:30pm, and I had to find the security guard to open the gate to let them in. The wheels were finally on the car at 10:30, then dinner and bed sometime after midnight.

Saturday

Day four of the odyssey, and it was probably about time to cut some laps!

Up again by 7:00am, and Phil and Daryl weren’t looking the best.

Now, what were we going to use the hire car for the rest of the weekend? A tow car for the Falcon, of course! Off to scrutineering, where it was my job to steer and stop the racecar. It was amazingly comfortable inside the cockpit, with the seat positioned on the floor, and a massive thrill for this deadset fanboy.

It was then out on the track again for the morning warm-up, although smoke started to issue from the car after a couple of laps. “Don’t worry, that’s just the heat shielding burning off”.

Oh.

The session didn’t last much longer, with the car returning to the pits with a broken watts linkage.

After a quick look around the paddock, we borrowed Ron O’Brien’s brand new welder, and Daryl set to work.

Phil missed the first qualifying session but made it out for the second. After two spins in 12 laps, and with the new tyres graining, ninth grid position wasn’t that bad, all things being considered.

Back in the pits, it was my job to be in the car for a brake bleeding. Up-down-up-down-pump. It was then an early night as Sunday was to be a very long day…

Huge ouch…

Sunday

Fourth fastest from the 9:15am warm-up wasn’t too shabby, although some of the big guns weren’t firing.

The first race was marred by a massive start-line shunt, above, with Mark Stinson limping away from his third starting position on the infield grass with a possible clutch drama.

Back in the pack, Phil was running four wide with Trent Young, Grant Munday and Mark Duggan, with Duggan spearing hard left, cleaning up the hapless Stinson at full tilt on the B-pillar.

Damage to the latter’s steering wheel and seat is a testament to how lucky both drivers were to walk away from the karambolage.

The significant debris field forced a restart, which was a shame because Phil made a tremendous original getaway. Of course, the second time around, his launch wasn’t as good.

After a couple of solid top-ten finishes, it was the reverse grid final race. Phil once again got away well and came out of the first corner in the lead, woohoo! However, he did have Kerry Baily and Tony Ricciardello right on his tail, so the lead didn’t last all that long.

In fact, the getaway impressed the officials so much that they called the big yellow Falcon into the pits for a jump-start penalty.

Despite this, after ten laps, it was classified in seventh position.

All that was left was to pack up the truck and head for home. Once we arranged for someone to drop off the rental car, we were back on the highway by 6:00pm. After a long night, we arrived in Brisbane at about 7:00am Monday morning.

In the end, it was proclaimed to be a good weekend; despite the dramas, the car came home in one piece.

And we had some great stories to tell.

Thanks to Phil and Daryl for some awesome memories.